My thoughts on CCD

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Recently, our Cardinal informed us that he would like to hear from the parishioners and a survey was sent out.  I was excited to share some of my thoughts and spent the next day thinking about what I’d like to convey.  I really don’t have an axe to grind on the subject of Catholicism; I love the faith and the beauty of the religion.  Still, after some contemplation, I settled on one item I’d like to raise.

I opened the survey with anticipation, but was immediately disappointed.  The Cardinal wanted to know, in 1 single sentence, how the Church could listen to us better.  There were 3 questions, each requesting 1 single sentence on how the parish could listen better, how the Archdiocese could listen better and lastly, how the greater Catholic Church could listen to the world. 

1 single sentence…

I get it, there’s a lot of people in the Archdiocese and reading everything will take time, still, I was disappointed.  The 2nd question bothered me the most – I have no idea what the Archdiocese is currently doing to listen to the parishioners, so how could I suggest how they could do better, in one single sentence?

I guess I should appreciate that they are reaching out, even if it wasn’t as I had expected or hoped.  My answers we’re quickly, that the priests should look to build relationships within the community, that the Archdiocese should have an active mechanism to gather feedback from learned individuals who know the faith and finally, that the Church, as a whole, shouldn’t listen to the world. 

I had actually wanted to provide feedback on CCD.  At one point, I am certain, that CCD was taught by a bunch of well educated and faithful Moms.  Kids would go to Church on Sunday and then, during the week, receive an hour of instruction from a Mother who was willing to share her time and experience.  Today though, sadly, few Moms know the faith.

Every year, my children learn the same things, always the Sacraments and then, predictably, during Christmas, they learn about the 3 Wise Man and the Baby in the manger.  The story of the Baby in the manger is a shocking story if told right; the All mighty and powerful King of Kings is born dirt poor to a bunch of nobody shepherds?!?!?

I am always surprised when I drop my kids off for CCD, that there are a ton of kids that I never see on Sunday and didn’t know their families were Catholic.  A pew research poll showed that only 31% of Catholics believe that the Bread and Wine is actually the Body and Blood of Christ; the majority believe its just a symbol. (“If it’s only a symbol, to hell with it.” -Flannery O’Connor).  This is who is teaching CCD, in many instances. 

CCD is meant to augment what our parents are teaching us at home and what they learn in Church.  Reality is, parents today don’t know much about the Bible and most aren’t teaching their children.  CCD’s new role, in my opinion, is to tell the children about the Good Sheppard, the loving Giver of Life.

Children in CCD don’t know the Great Story of the Old Testament that calls out for Jesus.  Kids don’t know who St Paul is, they can’t name the writers of the four Gospels, they don’t know who David is or Moses and they don’t know the stories in the Bible.  CCD will try and teach my kids that Jesus loves them, but if they don’t know Jesus, telling them they’re loved just isn’t enough. 

CCD should spend more time as Bible study.  Teach the children not just that Mary loves us, but rather, why Mary is important.  Teach the kids about the Saints and how their lives can point to Christ and how in times of needs, they can intercede. 

Kids need to know Jesus and build a relationship with Him so that they can go through life knowing who loves them.  Kids, parents and everyone need to know, that Death doesn’t have the final say, that on the other side of life’s door, there’s Jesus, waiting with open arms. 

God Bless! 

How to get mad – Jesus Style

What comes to mind when you think of anger?  Often, we associate it negatively, as something to avoid.  With good reason, you should avoid anger when expressed in a non-productive way.  Of course, we are humans and we don’t handle every situation perfectly, so anger is expressed inappropriately often, hence the negative association.

I have a friend that recounted a story on Facebook with a picture of 4 broken eggs on the ground.  Apparently, her son tried to make eggs for lunch and dropped a few.  The mom had found it humorous, but I quickly reflected, that myself and most parents, would have responded “are you kidding me!!!”  Just the other day, we were heading to a swim meet and we were going to make it with a minute to spare.  I got a call that my son had left his goggles at home and I needed to turn around.  I was angry and we ended up making only the last few seconds of the warm up time.  It was a mistake and although I was angry, I kept my mouth shut.  I had the right to be frustrated and angry but I didn’t have the right to start yelling and making my son feel terrible.  Responsibility is what I’m trying to teach here not for him to incorrectly reflect –“I’m an idiot!”

Jesus expresses His anger in the Temple in Jerusalem.  The temple was supposed to be the source of how to worship God but it was broken.  John the Baptist, the son of the high priest, Zechariah was not preaching in the temple, but out in the wilderness because the temple was dirty and damaged with corruption.  Jesus comes to clean the house, which had become a common market, selling goods.  Jesus turns over the tables, spills the money and drives everyone out. 

“He found in the temple area those who sold oxen, sheep, and doves, as well as the money-changers seated there.  He made a whip out of cords and drove them all out of the temple area, with the sheep and oxen and spilled the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables, and to those who sold doves, he said, “Take these out of here, and stop making my Father’s house a marketplace.”  Jn 2:15-16

I’d like to reflect that the sight of one man driving out a whole marketplace with just a whip must have been a sight! 

Jesus was not wrong to be angry at the sight.  The temple is where we worship and gain a deeper relationship with God, not where we go to buy goods.  Would you be able to pray and spend quiet time with the Lord in His Church if you were surrounded by shop keepers yelling and chickens flying around?  Not many could, but the point is, the market in the temple was blocking worship, keeping us away from the source of love and light.  God wants a relationship with you for your sake and He is justified in His anger.  Note that during this exchange, Jesus doesn’t strike anyone down and there’s no mention that in His uncontrolled rage, He throws things around.  Rather, He drives them out.  He makes it so the temple can be a place of worship. 

When Jesus gets done, he explains to all that He will soon lay down His life.  “Jesus answered and said to them, “Destroy this temple and in three days I will raise it up.” Jn 2:19  The ultimate act of love is being referenced here, that Jesus, for all of our sin and to conquer death, He will subject Himself to torture and death on a cross.  After driving out the market, His offer is one of love. 

Jesus uses His anger to accomplish a point and doesn’t sin while angry.  He fixes an issue; He is perfectly justified and He seeks to redeem those who were sinning.  Jesus loves those He is angry with here. 

Whenever we talk about forgiveness, anger and love, one must always remind oneself, that loving your enemies shouldn’t come at a cost for health and wellbeing.  If someone shoots your friend, don’t invite the murder over for tea the next morning (try and come to terms with the issue, ease your broken heart and forgive…from a safe distance). 

When you find yourself angry, ask, are you justified?  Are you seeking to correct out of love?  After the fact, have you accomplished the goals? 

Easier said then done, but with God’s Grace, we can persevere.  God Bless!

Lord Help Me!

The Lord helps those, that help themselves.  Well, not really.  I heard a politician quote these words when he contracted the Coronavirus.  His intent was that he was going to go to doctor and listen to the medical advice and get better.  All I could think was, well, actually, the Lord is in control here.  How many others, who listen to the advice of the medical community, suffer and pass?  How many prayed and lost their lives?  It is clear, the Lord is in control.  The sun shines on the good and the bad and the Lord’s ways are only known best to Him. 

The Lord helps those that help themselves is not biblical.  In fact, if anything, the Bible consistently states that He alone is in control.  The entirety of the Psalms are a cry for help from God because we are so helpless without Him. 

“Look upon me, have pity on me, for I am alone and afflicted.  Relieve the troubles of my heart; bring me out of my distress.”    Psalms 25:16-17

“May God send help from heaven to save me, shame those who trample upon me.  May God send fidelity and mercy.” Psalms 57:4

From the New Testament:  “They woke him (Jesus) and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?”  He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Quiet!  Be still!”  The wind ceased and there was a great calm.  Then he asked them, “Why are you terrified?  Do you not yet have faith?”  Mark 4:38-39

I get it, that you can’t just pray for a steak dinner and expect one to magically appear.  In this way, yes, if you want a steak, you’re going to have to go out and obtain the steak.  But at the same time, don’t think for one second, that the steak isn’t a gift from God.  Rather, there’d be no steak if it weren’t for the vast creation of God’s hand. 

God does delight in your active participation in His plan.  As a young man, I prayed that I would find a wonderful woman to marry who would make me a better man and through our marriage, would help me have a deeper relationship with God.  I then went out looking for that woman.  I met my future wife in college at a swim team party.  I didn’t make her be at that college and I didn’t make her join the swim team that would set forth our meeting.  I didn’t do anything to facilitate that chance meeting other than I was out and about on the wings of a prayer.  I was though, an active participate in God’s plan for me. 

My prayer wasn’t answered right away.  I had to go through many challenges and pitfalls on bad relationship after bad relationship before I fell in love with the right one.  Those tribulations were medicinal, teaching me about relationships and better recognizing what I needed from a partner.  I didn’t help myself!  I blindly and stupidly stumbled my way through a perfect lesson that lead to the answer of my prayer. 

Finally, there is a wrong order to stating, the Lord helps those that help themselves.  In this statement, the self is center stage, or at least sharing a stage with the Lord our God.  God is more than a coach who yells, “Go get ‘em!”  I love Michael Phelps and his accomplishments are great with 28 Olympic medals.  While his accomplishments are great, we must remember, Michael Phelps didn’t create himself.  Michael didn’t make himself 6 foot 4.  He didn’t choose to be born in Baltimore, MD, near the greatest swim coach and program in the US, the North Baltimore Aquatic Club learning under Bob Bowman.  Michael didn’t choose to have a father that was a star football player.  Michael took his talents and his drive for success to the pool and God delighted, no doubt, in the accomplishments but all glory and honor is due to the Lord our God, creator of life on earth.  Michael didn’t help himself, rather, God facilitated and permitted Michael to win.  God loves us and His gifts are plenty!    

God Bless!

Remember your death

Pope Pius XII famously said “The greatest sin is losing the sense of sin.” This saying comes in 1946, shortly after WWII, which I find profound that he didn’t say the holocaust or hatred of fellow man was the greatest sin; to be fair, I agree with Pope Pius XII.

What is the consequence of sin but death. When sin entered the garden, the result was that we would die and all death is a consequence of the sin of the world. Through one act, all will perish, but there’s more. Through one act of Jesus’s death, all can be saved, a greater gift than the punishment.

“But the gift is not like the transgression. For if by that one person’s (Adam’s) transgression the many died, how much more did the grace of God and the gracious gift of the one person Jesus Christ overflow for the many.” Romans 5:15

We must never forget why Easter is the most important holiday – it is the moment Jesus triumphed over death. We cannot have Easter, without Good Friday. Most would think, Good Friday, the day we killed our God in the most brutal fashion, wouldn’t be called Good, but we do, because it is good that He laid down His life for us.

If man has forgotten their sense of sin, could they have also forgotten their sense of mortality? Death is the secret hidden away from the forefront of the mind, but not for all. There are many monasteries around the world where death is a constant focus. A popular phrase is memento mori, which is Latin for, remember your death.

Trappist Monk’s are often known to have symbols of death prominently displayed and at one monastery, on the wall is inscribed, “Tonight perhaps?” Another monastery in France, on their cemetery is inscribed, “Today I die, tomorrow it will be you.”

The Catholic faith speaks extensively about death. The Hail Mary ends, “ Pray for us, now and at the hour of our death.” We don’t focus on death because we are macabre and dark. It is important that we remember not just Easter Sunday, but we remember Good Friday. We must remember that if we don’t die, we can’t be saved. The fruit must die so that the tree can grow. Rather, we focus on death because it is important to be ever mindful that we live forever and death is not the end. All the tragedy of the world is not the last say. All the misery, and trust me, there is lots of misery if you bother to look, is not just misery in its finality. Jesus offers eternal salvation and only Jesus offers it. If you forget that we perish, that we live in a dangerous world where perhaps, tomorrow is your last day, you forget you need the saving power of Jesus.

Why are Churches full of elderly? Because the elderly can’t escape the thought that their death is getting closer and now, more than ever, they cry out for their Savior. Connecting life and death connects our actions to our judgement.

Why is the Church not full of all ages? Perhaps because the youth have forgotten their mortal.

This pandemic has taught many that we are vulnerable and we live in a dangerous world; death numbers are published constantly and they can’t be ignored. Many think they can just stay home and be safe – that their actions will save themselves, but that’s just not true. Many put their faith in the government to come up with a solution or their doctors, but again, that won’t save either. If 1,000 die every day in the US from the novel Coronavirus, there are another 7,000 that die every single day, in the US, from things other than the Coronavirus. Death and our vulnerabilities are in the news today but death and peril was and is always here.

I know as a Dad that I can’t protect my children from everything. I allow them to bike to their friend’s house, which has hazard. I allow them to have that freedom, but I know there’s risk. When I get nervous, I say a quick prayer to the Blessed Mother to ask for Her intercession for my children’s protection. Mother Mary has more power than my watchful eye, after all. Life’s vulnerabilities help me to connect to my Lord and Savior.

During a Simpson’s episode, Hurricane Neddy, Maude Flanders states after nearly dying, “It was terrifying, I thought I was heading towards the eternal bliss of paradise.” I believe that in actuality the writers were making fun of the religious, but the jokes on them. We do hold out hope for the eternal bliss of paradise, that can only be accessed through death.

Let’s be clear, I am nervous about dying and death, but for a few reasons. The process of dying sounds scary and likely painful. I feel I have more to do on earth to love and care for those that depend on me and therefore, I don’t want to die – even though I’m confident God would provide. I mourn the loss of loved ones, who are no longer with me, which is normal, even if I hold out hope they are in eternal bliss. I also worry about my own judgement. All of these fears are made easier knowing that on the other side of that door awaits the loving embrace of My Lord and My God.

The veil of tears is not the end of our existence. Remembering my death helps me to remember that I have a Lord and Savior and that death doesn’t have the final word. What I do today matters. Life is not, as Macbeth put it, “a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing,” but rather, it has a purpose. Remember your death so you don’t forget to strive to be saved. When the pandemic goes and fades away to a bad memory, don’t fool yourself – run to the loving embrace of our Savior and stay with Him. God Bless!

The 6th Commandment

“You shall not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Mt 5:27-28

The 6th commandment is not just some arbitrary rule that is imposed on you. Rather, it’s a prescription of how to live your best life. To practice the virtue of temperance is to live a chaste life. A life where you are not dominated by thoughts and actions of sex. You’ll be miserable if you hop from bar to bar, looking for a one-night stand. A meaningless life, dominated by sex will never be enough to fill the emptiness you will feel.

Imagine the scene, where the young man is enticed by the beautiful woman. She beckons for him and he resists because he loves another. Finally, the young man has a change of expression and one of determination and succumbs to his desires. Men and women have a choice, to master their passions or be enslaved to them. You can live a life of free choice or you can be moved by blind impulses.

Let’s say in the example above, the young man succumbs to his desires and is unfaithful, but his young bride never finds out. Is it ok then? There are two issues with this thought and first and foremost, is that nothing you do is unseen to the Lord. Nothing will go unpunished in a sinful life. The second is that you, yourself, know of your unfaithfulness. Even if you can’t express it, you know that you’ve failed. The demons in your head are in and they will continue to whisper to you, louder and louder; you are not free, but enslaved to the master of lies. Only through the sacrament of reconciliation and repentance can you find your burden eased.

In baptism, we are all called to live a chaste life. A life of chastity is a life of mastery over self and allows you to appreciate the integrity of another rather than reducing a person to their sexual function. The 6th commandment is not just about NOT committing adultery, but rather, its about loving one’s neighbor. The commandment is about the integrity of the person.

Not too often do you hear of the word chastity or chase other than as part of some joke (think chastity belt). Much like how today, we hear pride as a good thing to have, but when the good is bad (chase) and the bad is good (pride) do we know the devil is at work trying to trick us. “Chasity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being.” CCC2337. When you are free from the desire, you can know yourself better, live a better and holy life and have a better relationship with your God, who loves you.

In the 6th commandment, at first, you see quiet simply that you must be faithful to your spouse. As you dig more, you come to realize that the 6th commandment is about, once again, love. It’s about the respect and integrity you must acknowledge about your fellow man. As we are drawn more and more closely to God and His love, we can live both a moral and free life but also an unflappable life in knowing God’s love always wins out.

Thank you for reading this blog today! God bless!

The 7th Commandment

“You shall not steal” Deuteronomy 5:19

Again, a seemingly straightforward commandment, yet more complex than one might at first assume. In a competition, the fastest or strongest are called victor. The best wins the game and takes the prize. In life though, the stronger man can take another’s property, but the theft is unjust. Christianity calls for a society where there is a respect for the ownership of property and goods, where the strongest can’t just take for him or herself.

When we start talking about possessions, we must realize that those possessions are given to us from God, who declared man the stewards of the Earth and all of her possessions. As good stewards, we must take proper care of our keep and order them to God and our fellow neighbor.

Violations of the rule are nuanced, but clear all the same. One cannot steal nor can he deliberately keep borrowed goods or those found. Imagine you see a man pull his hand out of his pocket and a $20 bill falls out – you should alert the man, not take the found prize. Also, it is a violation of the 7th commandment to take advantage of hardship, exploiting another’s misfortune. Purposely doing shoddy work in an effort for profit, at the expense of another, is also wrong.

Needless waste of goods, willful destruction of goods and tax evasion are all also violations. Imagine we discover a new world and you are first to land there – it is inappropriate for you to section off half the world as your own.

Gambling in excess is also a violation and can lead to enslavement if caution is not taken.

Slavery is obviously wrong but also fits into a violation of the seventh commandment because it exploits another for personal gain. To use another, unduly, is to unjustly exploit another for the accumulation of goods or money. You would be, in effect, stealing the time and energy of another for your personal gain.

One must rely on prayer, contemplation and a moral compass to discern the seventh commandment. It is just to pay a man a fair wage to perform a service but at what point does a wage become unfair? One must use his or her best judgment with many contemplations.

Animals are also God’s creation and should be treated as such. The use of animals for clothing and food is good, but causing animals to unduly suffer is a violation of the 7th commandment. Also, exploitation or unnecessary destruction of animals is wrong. Also, using animals for science is permitted, so long as it is necessary for the common good of man and good care is taken.

God has recognized us as stewards of the earth and are entrusted with its goods. Each and every gift should be ordered toward God. When Cain’s offering to God was from the least of his goods, hoarding his fruits for himself, God encouraged Cain to avoid his overt sinful pride. Cain didn’t appreciate the gifts received and put himself as the center, confusing himself as the giver. When we view our gifts as from solely our efforts, without appreciating the giver of all life, we can put an overabundance on the gifts rather than the giver. A dependence of the goods of the world will only lead to a restless heart. When you order the goods towards God, family and your neighbor, you can better find rest. If you worry over your goods, even to the point of exploitation of others or theft, you become enslaved to the earth and its sin.

 

Thanks be to God and His good gifts.

The 8th Commandment

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” Exodus 20:15

How often have you thought this commandment was fairly straightforward? Don’t spread gossip about your neighbor and don’t lie. Most people would say, they don’t lie, but would most say they don’t get involved in gossip?

The 8th commandment is actually much more than what not to do (lie) but rather, what to do, tell and live the truth.

“So Pilate said to him, “Then you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say I am a king. For this I was born and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.” John 18:37

We are called to adhere to this commandment by speaking the Truth, and that Truth is that Jesus is our Lord, our God and our Savior. To deny this statement, is to deny the Truth, violating this commandment. Not only must we speak the Truth about Jesus, we must live it too. We must strive to live the truth as well as speak it. Our actions and are deeds should be shaped by the Truth. In all societies, we respect truthfulness and we rely on truth in our dealings. Life is hard when there is rampant distrust. As good Catholics, we must strive for living the Truth to testify to it.

If you do not bear truthfulness, in grave situations, you violate the truth to a greater degree. When you deny the Truth of the Lord, you rob someone of hearing the truth that saves.

Regarding every day matters, I hope it is obvious that truthfulness must have discretion. Not all truth must be shared. In many cases, the truth would only harm and in those instances, it is not necessary to speak the truth. If you know something embarrassing that happened, you are not obliged to share that truth or imagine you are at a dinner party, and the host asks how are the meatballs, it is not appropriate to tell him they are dry and tasteless.

Rash judgement also speaks to the truth. When someone gives you their opinion, its best to assume the best and ask for clarification if it differs. Often, many people speak from their heart about some touchy subjects and its important to try and understand their rationale, even if you disagree. How much better would any political or religious discussion be if you assumed that the person’s heart was in the right place, even if he or she is wrong?

Identifying objections to another’s faults, without purpose also violates the truth. Constructive criticism is important, but if it is delivered only to harm, then it does not align with truth. Silence and or discretion should be sought to protect others.

Truth that is scandalous should also be avoided in sharing. When you are taken into confidence about a sensitive subject, that confidant’s subject should end with you. How easy would it be to then take another into that same confidence? For example, “I’m going to tell you something I heard, but you can’t repeat it…” often a recipe for disaster.

I’m often told that in life you just need to be a nice person and if you are a nice person, you don’t need a Church or a religion. The 8th Commandment might seem obvious and that nice people know it, but I don’t know of one person in this world that has mastered the 8th Commandment (me included). I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t benefit in their life from the Church instructing oneself to the 8th Commandment.

The Church calls us to live a better more truthful life. We strive to adhere to this life as the Bible prescribes and the Church teaches. Happy learning!

God Bless!

The 9th Commandment

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.” Exodus 20:17. This is also restated in Deuteronomy 5:21.  As we discussed previously, the 9th and 10th commandment are linked with a call to NOT desire for both your neighbor’s goods and his wife.  The 9th commandment deals with the desire for another man’s wife and vice versa, a woman to desire another woman’s husband. 

Jesus reinforces this commandment in Matthew 27:28 “But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

So, what is wrong with thoughts, they are seemingly harmless.  Clearly, if you stop and think, there are harmful thoughts.  Thoughts of envy, thoughts of greed, thoughts of hatred all diminish your quality of life.  If you are consumed with thoughts of revenge on someone who wronged you, you will find yourself unhappy and miserable.  You could be led to actually hurting the person who wronged you but more than likely, you will hurt those around you with your unpleasant disposition.

Thoughts, driven by lessons, either learned first hand or assumed, can dictate your actions.  If you had a boss that once wronged you, if you let that lesson impact your next experience with your new boss, you will not likely have a good relationship, hurting your career.  For example, if your old boss stole your ideas and presented them to others as his own, if you carry those lessons forward, you may be less likely to share ideas with your new boss, hurting your career by being overly secretive, protective and defensive. 

Thoughts can hurt you, if they are inconsistent with God’s will.  By stealing your mind away from immoral thoughts of desire, you can more freely think clearly and appropriately.  If you let the desires of flesh consume you, you will never be happy because desires of the flesh and sexual pleasure is not enough to make one’s heart at ease; only the love of God can ease your heart. 

For all of time, pornography has been shunned and widely rejected by society.  Today, we are inundated with pornography on any media device and the evil one himself wants us to believe pornography is harmless.  Why are Christians and Jews so against pornography – because they’ve read and studied the 9th Commandment and know it harms oneself.  Pornography stands as an obstacle to purity of heart and lets in damaging thoughts.  Today, we are free to allow unhealthy thoughts, but we are far from free, rather, we become trapped.  Freedom of desire is to be sought so we can be truly free. 

“Blessed are the pure of heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8.  The 6th Beatitude challenges us to clean our heart and mind.  By purifying your thoughts, you will hear God and know better His will. 

Purity of heart should be desired.  As you work towards adhering to the 9th Commandment, freeing your mind from thoughts of desire, you are better able to see your fellow man and woman as who they truly are, a child of God. 

Purity of the heart brings freedom.  You are no longer enslaved to your desires, but clearly see the dignity of the person.  It is erroneous to want to be free from God, where you are immodest in thought and behavior, only to find yourself trapped in sin and far from God and His love. 

God Bless!

The 10th Commandment

The 10th Commandment is really wrapped into the 9th Commandment stated as, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male or female salve, nor his ox or ass, nor anything else that belongs to him.” Exodus 20:17
Through history, we have broken this commandment into 2, and the 10th is best stated as, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods.” Really, while one verse, the commandments should be separated here into two as they do concern two separate issues, one of desire for another’s spouse and one of their possessions. Today, we address your neighbor’s goods. Obviously, neighbor is used loosely here and doesn’t mean the persons that live on either side of you, but refers to those you know.
Covet is not a word thrown around much today, but is defined as “yearn to possess or have (something).” If my neighbor drives a fine car and it makes me jealous, I’m not harming anyone, right? Thoughts don’t have substance, but thoughts do two major things. First, thoughts of jealously hurt me, and God loves me and he doesn’t want me to be hurt; I am unsettled and unhappy when I have feelings of jealousy. So while at first, it appears that God has made a seemingly overly restrictive law around what I can and can’t think, what He has actually done is tried to protect me from me. God doesn’t want me worrying and obsessing over what others have and I have not.
The second thing a thought can do that can cause harm is if it’s allowed to grow. A thought starts out as something small, but given time, it can grow and lead to action. If my friend across town has a lot of expensive toys and my thoughts are consumed with of jealously, I could over extend my credit line trying to keep up (with the Jones) him or I could actually steal the items. Equally bad, I could begin to slander his name in an attempt to bring him down a notch on my perceived social scale. I could start to speculate to others that while my friend has lots of toys it is because he’s a selfish jerk; now, in addition to breaking the 10th Commandment, I’ve broken the 8th as well, more to come on the 8th.
I have a friend I went to college with that was vacationing on the French Riviera last year. At first, I couldn’t believe that the kid I knew in college, who drank and smoked way too much and was always in a bad mood, was now sipping wine on the Mediterranean coast. I quickly though changed my thought to one of happiness for him. I was glad to see that he had done well and was on a seemingly very cool vacation. I don’t actually know if he’s happy, but he sure seems interesting to me and I don’t have any reason to believe he’s not happy. The fact that my college friend is more successful than me doesn’t change anything with regard to me and my accomplishments.
The 10th Commandment seeks to ease my soul and my worry. It seeks to tell me, don’t worry that your college friend has more money and toys than you. God loves me and He wants what is best for me, so He gives me this commandment, and I’m better for it as should you.
Stay tuned for the 9th Commandment post.

God Bless!

Dad’s, waste time with your family

“And I regularly asked fathers if they played with their children; if they had the courage to have the love to waste time with their children.  The answer wasn’t good, eh!  The majority would say: “But, I can’t because I have so much work to do…’ And the father was absent from that child that was growing up and didn’t play with him, he didn’t waste time with him.”  Pope Francis

Last Saturday, I had a plan.  It was a nice day and I like to drink my coffee and eat my breakfast on our screened in porch while reading.  I got together my breakfast and sat down.  The kids weren’t up yet and my wife was out running a road race.

My children typically like to get up, watch something and eat their breakfast – a good hour of time spent.

My plan was to run a quick 4 miles on the treadmill when the kids got up, while they watched their show.  As I sat and ate, my son woke and came out on the porch.  For the next hour, he told me his thoughts on the Marvel movies, we took 3 on-line quizzes to discover what our Marvel weapon should be (mine was Dr Strange’s Eye of Agamotto ???), which Marvel Hero we are most like (Thor) and which Marvel villain we are most like (can’t remember).

Well, I didn’t get my run in.  I thought about asking my son to go watch a show or tell him I wanted to exercise.  Pope Francis’ words did echo in my brain and I decided to waste time with him.

The Father loves us.  As Fathers, we are called to love, like the Father.  When we pass to the next realm, we hope we recognize the Father by saying, “I know you, your love was with me all the while.”

I’m not looking for a clap on the back, I don’t always get things right, but I just want to reflect on a moment in time when I got something right.  I wanted to do my thing, but I choose my son instead.  I choose to waste time with my family.

Waste time with your family.

God Bless