This morning was like a gut punch from God. I was driving in to work, really wrestling with the thought of someone who was unexpectedly hurtful to me the other day. I find, sometimes, in life you’ll come across those that are jealous of you and will try and tear you down. Just the other day, I heard that it’s not atypical for at weight watchers, for someone to lose a good deal of weight, only to make an enemy or two in the process amongst their peer group. I was shocked! I thought someone losing weight would give credence to the process and inspire those around them; I never thought you could be making enemies through jealousy. BTW – I do love and support weight watchers!
Such is the case in my life, where recently I had some success, only to have made some jealous in the process. Yikes! I was struggling with wicked thoughts and asking God what to do to the point of obsession. I don’t like being mad and resentful. I needed God’s help and His intervention!
That’s when on the radio, listening to Seize the Day on the Catholic Channel, I heard about the importance of Forgiveness. The commentary was on the reading where the master forgives a debt of his servant and later learns the servant would not forgive a smaller debt from another. In the reading, the master learns of the affair and ends up punishing the servant who he had originally forgiven the debt. The reading is Matthew 18:21-35 if you’re interested in reading the story in its entirety.
I know in my life, I’m a sinner and know God’s mercy has been great. I’ve been forgiven and blessed a thousand times over.
Today, rather than focusing on my resentment and hurt I’m going to focus on forgiving. What does that look like exactly? I’m not going to hug those that hurt me but I’m not going to seek revenge by in turn spreading rumors. I’m not going to have mock arguments in my head about the things I’d like to say to my persecutors. I’m not going to return hate with hate. I’ll say hello to them and try and have a conversation with them with no malice. Today, I’m going to work on finding it in my heart to be ok with the wrong.
I’ll do my best to avoid being hurt again and the trust factor is damaged with some, but I’m open to helping them as much as I can and praying in earnest for those people. Whether if forgiveness is sought or not, they’ll receive it, truly. If ever I have the chance, I’ll even trust them, if possible.
After hearing the reading and reflection today, I’m better for it. That message was tailor made for me. Thanks be to God!