I recently finished The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky and wanted share a story within the book, told by the character Grushenka to Alyosha. Grushenka, at this point in the story, is coming to the realization that she is a wicked woman, with pettiness and anger in her heart. She is extracting revenge for perceived (and real) slights to her character. Alyosha is a Christ like character, very pure and good. Grushenka feels she is the wicked woman in this story, though not yet dead.
Once upon a time there was a woman, and she was wicked as wicked could be, and she died. And not one good deed was left behind her. The devils took her and threw her into the lake of fire. And her guardian angel stood thinking: what good deed of hers can I remember to tell God? Then he remembered and said to God: once she pulled up an onion and gave it to a beggar woman. And God answered: now take that same onion, hold it out to her in the lake, let her take hold of it, and pull, and if you pull her out of the lake, she can go to paradise, but if the onion breaks, she can stay where she is. The angel ran to the woman and held out the onion to her: here, woman, he said, take hold of it and I’ll pull. And he began pulling carefully, and had almost pulled her all the way out, when other sinners in the lake saw her being pulled out and all began holding on to her so as to be pulled out with her. But the woman was wicked as wicked could be, and she began to kick them with her feet: ‘It’s me who’s getting pulled out, not you; it’s my onion, not yours.’ No sooner did she say it than the onion broke. And the woman fell back into the lake and is burning there to this day. And the angel wept and went away.
Love is willing the good of others; God wants us to love Him and by doing so, love others. The onion woman clearly doesn’t do that; she is selfish and petty and lacks an ability to love. She’s offered Grace and Mercy but doesn’t know what to do with it because she knows nothing of God. She learns nothing from her time in the lake of fire and as a result, causes her own fall and her own misery.
Jesus tells a parable in Matthew 20 where the owner of a vineyard continues to hire laborers throughout the day and at the end of the day, pays each the same amount. The first workers, those that had worked all day long, had expected more wage than they had previously agreed to work for and more than those that had worked for only an hour. The owner responds:
“Take what is yours and go. What if I wish to give this last one the same as you? Or am I not free to do as I wish with my own money? Are you envious because I am generous?” Mat 20:15-16
I hope this relates well to you but I’ll get right to the point. Any time you are envious of others, be careful that you don’t break your onion. If you feel your onion is breaking – repent!